So as we begin summer here at Covecrest, I've been getting a lot of questions from people about what I'm going to do next, how I'm going to survive in the "real world", what I'm going to do when I grow up (with the implication that that should happen now). I've had friends express worry that I'm not capable of dealing with "real life" when I'm not here. And my answer to them has been that this is real life. The life I have been living for the past nine months has been more real in many ways than the life I lived for 23 years. And I have been confronting things, dealing with my own brokenness, learning how to interact with others, live in community, and live the Gospel. And its hard. Its difficult; it tries my patience; it frustrates me; it hurts. But it is also amazingly free, and joyful, hopeful, and beautiful. And I'm not going back. Whether I'm technically a missionary or not, I'm going to live the missionary lifestyle for the rest of my life. I want more than the world offers.
And so, here's what I'm going to do when I leave Covecrest: I'm going to live a prudent life, a supernaturally prudent life. I'm going to seek the kingdom of God, and believe me, no wait- believe Jesus, He's the one who said it-, everything else will fall into place. That's not to say my life will always be easy, that's not to say that I won't have difficulties or problems. I'm not looking at the world through rose colored glasses, but I am looking at it through the promise of the Gospel. And I am going to follow what He's calling me to do, whether I understand it or not, whether it makes sense or not. I don't know for sure where my path will lead me, but I know that God does, and so as long as I follow Him, its all going to be okay.
I'm not naive, and I'm not overlooking the very real concerns of life- rent, insurance, bills, etc., etc. But, my God is a BIG God. He is mighty and capable, and loves me. And I'm going to focus on Him. He knows what I need, what my heart desires, even more than I do sometimes, most times even. What else do I need to know? Who else am I going to trust?
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2 comments:
You know the answer to all those questions: God! Thank you for your ministry of prayer. You have a great gift. Keep praying sister.
You are an amazing woman and I know that i know that next year will be all that you want it to be
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