First Retreat and Other Happenings

This week we (the missionaries) ran our first retreat. We were responsible for the planning, set-up, and execution, and wow, is it intense. Right now we're enjoying our first hour of truly free time in days. And so I'm sitting at a table in the meeting room watching Sean and Chris nap on the floor and Kesley and Reggie square dance to some country music playing over the speakers. Everyone deals with fatigue in different ways . . . Our theme was "Mission Possible" so we got to dress up like spies and climb out of fireplaces or repel from the rafters to greet the 50 eighth graders for their very first retreat ever.

It has been a humbling week for me, as I've never done middle school ministry, and I've certainly never been a part of running a retreat like this before. And by "retreat like this" I mean one with talks and sessions and props and planning. My formation was in the Michael Tigue Style and so I'm used to praying with the retreat group and seeing what teachings and witnesses the Spirit brings forth. This works amazingly well with college students, but alas, middle schoolers require more work, lots more. It is worth it though.

The eighth graders arrived on Wed. morning and were very tentative about being here, though very talkative amongst themselves. My small group in particular is very chatty, so there was no need for ice breakers (thank goodness- I don't really like ice breakers, nor do I really know any). The first small group session was creating a "God's Love Is . . ." banner, and wow, these kids are AMAZING. Some of the words they came up with were sacramental, big, unrelenting, unconditional, pure, merciful, and sacrificial. And even more than just knowing this, they were able to explain to me what they meant by each word. Watching the teens grow in faith over a few short days has been awesome! When they arrived they were reluctant to join in praise or talk about faith. But even by that first evening, when we had men's and women's sessions, they were sharing deeply about their lives and insecurities. And I have never seen a group so enthusiastic about praise and worship music as they were last night.

I think that the best part of the retreat was, by far, Adoration. Fr. J has been visiting us this week (he's a Life Teen priest from Florida) and he was good enough to facilitate it. Fr. J is fantastic One of the things I love about him is how completely in love with Christ he is. Each and every time he lifts the Eucharist in mass and the entire time we had Adoration, his eyes never left the Blessed Sacrament. What a witness that was to the teens and to me. We had only planned on having a half hour of Adoration, figuring that eighth graders couldn't/wouldn't sit through a full hour, but we underestimated them. Not only did they sit through the hour, but it was one of the most reverent Holy Hours I have ever experienced.

Danielle and I processed in with the candles and Sean with the incense before Fr. and Jesus. We had a few minutes of quiet prayer before the Blessed Sacrament, and then Fr. J explained that when Jesus ministered to the crowds He walked amongst them, healing them. That, he said, was what was going to happen this evening. So he took the Blessed Sacrament, and slowly walked through the crowd of kids, allowing each to see their Lord in front of them, reminding each that they are good enough and special enough for the King of the Universe chose to be near them, to walk amongst them. Bringing the Eucharist back to the altar, he told the story of the woman with the hemorrhage, who made her way through the crowds, knowing that if she were to but touch the hem of Jesus's cloak she would be healed. And he offered them that same chance. Reminding us all that the same Jesus was before us, Fr. invited everyone to come up and touch the hem of the corporal and be healed from whatever it was we suffered from. The tangibility and the sameness of the moment struck me in a way it never has before, and as I touched the hem of the altar cloth, I was filled with the Presence of the Lord and a deep deep peace.

Getting to watch the seeds of faith being planted in these youths, and even to watch them sprout has been an amazing blessing. Throughout this week I've been reminded of when I was their age and the first retreat I went on. I looked up to those high school student leaders so much, and I wanted nothing more than to be like them. And even though I didn't understand everything that was said at the time, it was a beginning, it was a model for me.

Things I'm learning :
-obedience, to the priest, to the Rule of Life, to what the Spirit is saying, to listen to the ideas of others and trust that God knows best in the situation, even if its not how I pictured it.
-not using my "teacher voice" as Alex calls it and remembering that I am not their teacher, but a witness.
-humility

Sarah once told me that "God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called." I can only pray that this is true because I am unsure how to do this new type of ministry work. I don't have the experience the other missionaries have with Life Teen or Edge (the middle school version of Life Teen). I don't know what I'm doing, but God knows what He is doing by bringing me here, and that is my consolation as I do my best to share my faith and passion with these kids and bring them to a deeper understanding of who God is.